A mother’s nightmare - Desperate mom pleads for help with aggressive autistic teen

Tanya Smart has forgotten what peace feels like. She doesn't remember the last time she closed her eyes and slept through the night. She lost that privilege years ago when her 17-year-old autistic son, Daniel, began staying up through the nights, restless, unpredictable, and at times violent.

"I can't sleep and I can't go anywhere. ... I don't know what it is like to just go to my bed and not waking up. I always have to get up to watch," she said.

A resident of Huntley District, Manchester, Smart spends her nights listening for the slightest movement, afraid of what might happen if she lets her guard down.

"He don't sleep," Smart said of her son, who has been prescribed medication to control his aggression, hyperactivity and severe agitation. "Him up 3 o'clock, so I have to be up with him. When I'm sleeping, him attack me. The other day him thump me in the left eye -- mi couldn't see, so mi have to join the eye clinic," the distraught mother said.

"My greatest problem is in the nights when he is not sleeping. I don't want to sleep because I don't know if him a guh lick me inna mi sleep. When he is acting out I have to put up the knife, fork ... everything. Anything him catch him use it attack me," she said.

Autism, or autism spectrum disorder, is a developmental condition that affects how a person communicates, interacts with others, and experiences the world around them. Its signs and intensity vary widely, with some individuals requiring significant support, while others live independently and thrive with proper understanding and inclusion. In Daniel's case, his disorder is severe.

Though 17, his mother still brushes his teeth, helps him bathe, and shaves his face.

"It's like he is trapped in an adult body and he is a baby," said Smart, whose life revolves around keeping Daniel safe and keeping herself alive. The battle, she said, is constant and oftentimes intense.

"Him fight me, him rail up and kick me down, and him choke me," she said. "Him bite himself, and him hit himself or toss himself in the wall when him upset."

Her eyes filled with tears and voice laced with desperation, Smart said the task is even more difficult as her husband is no longer around.

"It's challenging as a mother alone with him, I don't have no family," said Smart.

She told THE WEEKEND STAR that her husband left in 2022 and has not returned. And although he sometimes send her money, it is never enough. Their other son is currently in college. Smart says her sister helps to provide for the college student.

Throughout her trials, she has had angels in the wings assisting her. A neighbour, Carol, often lends a hand in caring for Daniel, and a couple has allowed them to stay in their house.

"Our home doesn't have a gate and we don't have electricity there, and because of that he will get scared and act out," Smart said.

The current location also allows some level of security for the family, as Smart is able to keep her son inside. She fears that he could run away from the house and be abused on the streets.

"I have to take the key out the door and hide it, because mi nuh want him run out," she said.

The emotional toll has been crushing for the single mother. She admits to having had dark thoughts when the situation seems unbearable.

"I have suicidal thoughts when there [is no food] and nothing is here; him nah understand say the food done," she said. "When him see the things dem done, him check the cupboards and him start bawl out."

She says even when she tries to ration food, Daniel becomes upset if things aren't the same. "If I mix his cornflakes without sugar, him fight me."

Despite the pain, Smart still has hope. Her business, Swifty Cleaning Services, is her attempt at independence, though she admits jobs are hard to find.

"I normally clean, so I register my own cleaning services. Now and then I would get a little cleaning job here and there to help him out and my other son," she said.

"I am asking for people in Mandeville to reach out to me for my cleaning services, whether offices, home or schools. I am willing to work because I can give my friend Carol a little pay, from what I earn, to keep him."

Still, amid the chaos, Smart's love for her son shines through her pain.

"I just want him to be comfortable and happy," she said.

During the interview, Daniel moved about the small room, humming softly, occasionally hugging his mother and pointing to his mouth for food. When Smart showed her cleaning business certificate, he gently took it, examined it, and placed it back in the envelope.

Watching him, Smart said: "I've noticed that a lot of children in Jamaica are having this disability; and most of the parents I've encountered, I realised, it's always the mother that is left alone.

"I don't think no mother should be alone with an autistic adult, mi nuh think so. Both parents should be there for the safety of each other, [and] so the other can get a break."

Tanya Smart may be contacted via telephone at: (876) 810-3658 or (876) 593-5406. Donations may be made to her account at Scotiabank, Fairview branch (990605), account #867728.