Triumph over heartbreak - Racquel Wilson excels despite double grief

When Racquel Wilson was pinned on December 4 and officially selected for active duty in the United States Army, the moment should have been pure celebration. Instead, it was threaded with grief.

At just 24, the Clarendon native stood proud in her uniform -- but the two people she longed to share that victory with were painfully absent.

Her father, Rohan Wilson, her first hero and fiercest protector, died in 2021. Her grandmother, Hermina Coley Brown, who helped raise her and shaped her earliest memories, passed away in August this year.

"I wanted to call her and tell her that I graduated. I know she would be celebrating, but I couldn't," said Wilson.

If given one more chance, she knows exactly what she would say.

"I would tell them I did it. Daddy, I kept your name and my promise to make you proud. I did it because of you."

This Christmas, the absence of her grandmother cuts especially deep.

"Everyone knows you for your wonderful Christmas cakes. This Christmas without you -- without the fry dumpling, saltfish and cocoa tea -- it hurts. I really wanted you to see me finish, and I honoured you the way I know you wanted me to."

Wilson's life did not begin with ease. She was raised primarily by her father in Sandy Bay, Clarendon, while her mother travelled back and forth overseas.

"I was the only girl among five boys. No female in the house, so I grew up rough," she said.

Her dad worked long hours running a trucking company, but never wavered as a father.

"We were inseparable," she said. "Even when I went to live with my mom in the United States in 2014, we were still very close."

In the US, Wilson excelled. At Atlantic High School, she distinguished herself academically, graduating early in 2019.

"I did the medical programme and I also went to college while I was in high school. So when I graduated, I already had my associate's degree from Palm Beach State College," she explained.

She knew medicine was her calling.

"Growing up with challenges, I knew I couldn't waste time. I had to succeed."

In 2021, she earned a full scholarship to Loyola University in Chicago -- a dream opportunity - but something didn't feel right.

"I spent two days and said, 'This is not for me.' Something felt off."

Two weeks later, her world shattered.

"My dad sadly passed away of chronic kidney disease. He is why I started the journey in the first place," she said.

"I wanted to quit. I didn't want to be alive. This is somebody I was so close with. He raised me. He shaped what I wanted to become."

After burying her father, legal issues surrounding his will left her overwhelmed. At just 20 years old, Wilson felt as if she were drowning.

"I didn't know what to do with all this pain and stress. I was just very angry."

She partied, trying to outrun her grief, trying to numb it -- but grief does not disappear.

"It got to the point that after six months I decided it had to stop. I said I'm going to make this pain fuel me and I'm going to watch it unfold," she said.

SHOCKING DECISION

What followed was a decision that shocked even her.

"I decided I wanted to do something hard, so I enrolled in the Army Reserve Officers' Training Corps (ROTC) programme," she said.

Money, however, was a major obstacle.

"So the big question was how mi ago pay fi school? Mi father dead and mi nuh have no money this nah go work out," she recalled.

The answer came through the National Guard.

"They paid my tuition the entire time I was enrolled at Florida Atlantic University. The only thing we had to do was show up."

And show up she did -- exhausted, grieving, and determined.

She balanced full-time work alongside the demands of the ROTC programme, often rising as early as four or five in the morning on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, with lab sessions filling her Thursdays.

Then loss returned. Her grandmother, who had been ill for months and hospitalised, died in August -- just as Wilson was nearing the finish line.

"I'm about to finish school and I lost the next closest person to me. My dad died at the beginning of this. His death triggered this journey and before I could finish grandma died," she said.

This time, there were no tears -- only resolve.

She returned to Jamaica to attend the funeral, carrying her laptop with her to keep up with coursework and formally notifying her professors of her circumstances.

At her pinning ceremony, Wilson stood tall - finally allowing herself to feel the weight of what she had endured.

"I started crying because I could finally see the hard work paying off," she said.

She officially graduated on December 12 with a Bachelor of Science in biological sciences, a minor in military science, and physician assistant qualifications earned the year before.

Wilson still dreams of returning home to Jamaica to open her own medical practice -- a dream born from watching her father fight illness and from a promise made long ago.